“It’s been one of those days (or weeks)” we have all said it. Sometimes its the small everyday struggles that make life hard. I’m not talking about life and death situations or serious health issues here, just the stressful daily struggles that just seem to drain the love (or the love for others) right out of you.
Well it’s been one of those days (or several) for me. Its soooo easy to loose your mind, your patience and your “nice” on a days like this. I find my kids taking the brunt of my struggles. It a fine line between discipline and just plain nagging. I have found myself having to step back quite a few times this week and take a minute to listen to myself. Now don’t get me wrong they need discipline and guidance, and so do I! For my guidance, I have done my best to take, at the very least, a few minutes each morning with my devotional. My goal has been to do it first thing in the morning before breakfast, exercise and before the kids get up. In other words top priority for the day, my time to hear Him and be guided. I have been 99% successful this week. What I need to work on now is putting His guidance into action.
A few weeks ago one of our pastors talked about the role of the Dad in the family.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Pastor Eric might as well have changed it to “Darlena…do not exasperate your children….”
Well I was brought to tears right there in church. (granted this is not the first time, ask my church buddies, I am a crier.) If there is one place in life I am moved emotionally its at church. I think probably because I tend to hold my feelings in (except it seems anger and disappointment lately) at home. Trying to be THE parent during deployment is sometimes very, very hard. I have two out of three kids that are going thru HUGE changes in their lives right now and a younger one who misses his Dad terribly. So I kind of turn off my emotional switch as a way to cope. But by doing that I find myself lacking in the comforting, loving and nurturing of my kids too, not good. Maybe its just the season we are in, we need more discipline, but I also am trying to find balance to make sure they always know I love them. Its not easy.
I have found myself using this verse on a regular basis…
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Apparently exasperation and desperation go hand in hand?
I have been praying for Jesus to show me the right way to lead my family thru discipline and love. In doing so He has reminded me, yet again, to be more diligent in being the enforcer and the disciplinarian. Roles that I am not good at naturally. This has led me to try harder to find a balance between love, respect and discipline. How? Well most importantly by turning to God even more each day. Calling on Him, even saying his name when I catch myself going off the deep end. There is a way to make my point and a then there is a way to exasperate my children. I need to work on making my point a bit less exasperating.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I know I can never
grasp the fullness of the love he has for me and my family. And I need to be reminded of how much grace he gives me everyday, so that I in turn can be reminded to show that to others including my children.
New International Version (NIV)
…18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
So how do you deal with your daily struggles big or small?
As for me I shall continue to pray harder and bring more Jesus into my day instead of letting the world and all my anxiety swallow me whole!