“It’s been one of those days (or weeks)” we have all said it. Sometimes its the small everyday struggles that make life hard. I’m not talking about life and death situations or serious health issues here, just the stressful daily struggles that just seem to drain the love (or the love for others) right out of you.
Well it’s been one of those days (or several) for me. Its soooo easy to loose your mind, your patience and your “nice” on a days like this. I find my kids taking the brunt of my struggles. It a fine line between discipline and just plain nagging. I have found myself having to step back quite a few times this week and take a minute to listen to myself. Now don’t get me wrong they need discipline and guidance, and so do I! For my guidance, I have done my best to take, at the very least, a few minutes each morning with my devotional. My goal has been to do it first thing in the morning before breakfast, exercise and before the kids get up. In other words top priority for the day, my time to hear Him and be guided. I have been 99% successful this week. What I need to work on now is putting His guidance into action.
A few weeks ago one of our pastors talked about the role of the Dad in the family.
Pastor Eric might as well have changed it to “Darlena…do not exasperate your children….”
Well I was brought to tears right there in church. (granted this is not the first time, ask my church buddies, I am a crier.) If there is one place in life I am moved emotionally its at church. I think probably because I tend to hold my feelings in (except it seems anger and disappointment lately) at home. Trying to be THE parent during deployment is sometimes very, very hard. I have two out of three kids that are going thru HUGE changes in their lives right now and a younger one who misses his Dad terribly. So I kind of turn off my emotional switch as a way to cope. But by doing that I find myself lacking in the comforting, loving and nurturing of my kids too, not good. Maybe its just the season we are in, we need more discipline, but I also am trying to find balance to make sure they always know I love them. Its not easy.
I have found myself using this verse on a regular basis…
- Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
New International Version (NIV)
…18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.